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Thread: Humour!

  1. #1
    Apostle Master
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    458

    Default Humour!

    From all the filed info I have accumulated since 1999 , I found this item and had a good chuckle. Orginally it was on the Shadowknight.org boards.
    I believe it was also on MB under a person called "miker985" post: http://home.attbi.com/~justanotherbo...ing_Guide.html)

    I used to be a big troller of the boards looking for information that related to monk benefits, plus articles/posts that were interesting to me. That was when I played EQ a lot more than I do nowadays, when it was first new ( 1999 - 2001)- as we all did. I printed out most everything and have binder with it all filed.

    Here it is, not really a story, but a chuckle from the past ( or as Joubie, a monk, who was in the same guild as Zarie in 2000, used to say " a blast from the past").

    Not sure why bard is used as a "victim". Must have been a history I lost in my readings.

    PULLING:
    Your are the puller -10pts
    Group does not know you are the puller +15pts
    Group does not know you are pulling +10pst
    Group deliberately misled into thinking you are NOT pulling +50pts
    Did you pull while group members were AFK? +5 points per AFK member.
    Was it the Enchanter or Cleric? +10pts

    WARNINGS:
    Did you shout a warning to the zone Before the train hit? -20pts
    Did you shout a warning to the zone After the train hit? +30pts
    Did you claim, After the train, that you DID shout a warning Before the train,even though you didn't? +40pts
    Did you warn your group a train was coming? -10pts
    Was it cryptic? ("Ummm..," "OMG", *3 Inc I think", "may be an add", etc.) +10pts
    Did you mislead your group into thinking a train was NOT coming? +20pts

    CONTENT:
    Number of mobs? =10pts per mob above four
    Did any of the mobs summon? +10pts
    Did any of the mobs HT/DT? +10 pts
    Did they HT/DT someone elase? +20pts
    Was it the bard? +30pts
    Did yuor train contain any "named" mobs or rare spawns? +30 pts
    Did your train contain any Deities? (NOTE - Claiming you saw God during the training does not count) +40pts
    Did your tain contain representatives of more than 50% of all mob types in that zone? +25pts

    IMPACT:
    WTH? from witnesses, +5pts each
    ***? from witnesses, +10pts each
    OMG! from witnesses, +5pts each
    OMFG! from witnesses, +10pts each
    Did you froce any Monks/Necros to FD? +5pts each
    Did you force any Clerics to DA? +10 pts each

    EVASION:
    Did you survive your own train? +50pts
    Did you self-inflict damage and/or zone to fake your own death inorder to soften accusations? +20pts
    Survivors in group who did not used FD or zone to evade death. -30pts each

    AFTERMATH:
    Did you claim responsibility for your train? +50pts
    Regret it? -50pts
    Brag about it? +50pts
    Blame lag? +10pts
    Blame the bard? +10 pts

    Did they buy it? +30pts

    No confirmed deaths, -200pts
    Confrimed deaths. +20 pts per death
    Were any deaths from clases tha thad FD (MNK,SHD<NEC)? +20 pts each
    Were any victims looting their corpses froma prervious death when your train hit? +50pts

    Numbers of insulting /accustatory tells from train victims/witnesses +10 pts each
    Numbers of congratulatory tells from Monks, SK's Rangers or other pullers? +20 pts each
    Numbers of tells victims rendered incoherent by rage? +25pts each

    Petioned? +20 pts
    Did you OOC/Shout to the zone that trains in EQ "are a fact of life" or other similar rationalization? +10pts
    NOW were you petitioned? +40pts
    Did any victims/group members quit EQ for the night? +30pts each
    Quit EQ period? +100pts

    FOR EXPERTS ONLY:
    Guides killed? +40pts each
    GM's killed? +60pts each
    Verant/GM-Admins killed? x 2 multiplier ( N.B This post was from 6/2004 -back in day!)
    Did recovery from your train require Verant CS representatives to summon corpses/reset spawns? +50pts

    Total group wipe-out +50pts per group
    Total raid wipe out x1.5 multiplier
    Did you ruin an RP event? +60 pts
    Was it a wedding? +100pts
    Was it YOUR wedding? +200pts


    Be safe and enjoy
    Zarie
    Formerly of Rodcet Nife merged with Quellious and now Povar.

  2. #2

    Default

    Absolutely hilarious, had to repost it on guilds website

  3. #3
    Monk Disciple Imuu's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    122

    Default

    Ditto

  4. #4

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